When the truth creeps in. DUN DUN DUN!

Yo ladies! Yo FELLAZ! Ever noticed that when a blog entries first start -- it's like totally hilarious and piss-ball funny. So funnily badd that you're always cracking up till you get severe brain hemorrhages and plastic tubes stuck up your nose to regulate your jumpy breathing @ Hospital... BLA BLA BLA. Then! It gradually the blog entries becomes intensely serious and emotional, and you're like-- "What, I'm not able to laugh?NOoOoOoO :( i miss intensive care!!!! Woe to the hot nurses forcing their sexy bodies onto mine (aka.Sedating) and the disgustingly gooey substances which the hotties feed me with.....etc.BLISS!".
No laughing = BLOG READERS' FATALITY. dun dun dunn

Oh my gosh -- i wrote my last blog entry not even 5 minutes ago and like -- FARRR, it's so serious and boring (because I'm not telling you what's going on ahahaha). I feel like I've dissatisfied my reading-fans hahaha ;) Sorry babes, i got carried awayyy, and you know? You can relate it to eating food. Eg: You're engrossed with eating chocolate, yet the people around you are bored of watching you and WANT you to eat something else for change.

Is that analogy good enough? If it isn't -- your imagination isn't up to a 5 year old's standard ;) HAHA- no im kidding. Your imagination is finee-- just like, toss some Twilight Sagas + Mills & Boon into your skull and babes you're even more fine! Danggggg. Hahaha. Like seriously, I'm "virtually" asking you -- If this blog gets too complicated or boring for you to understand. Tell me and I'll tell you "That's okay !". Besides, sometimes I intended it for it to be that way. You see, i select the people i WANT to understand the few things i write about. Furthermore the people who don't understand....? I guess i havent been telling you much, OR you dont know me =P. Tuh, Stranger Danger LOL, GET OFF MY PAGE! hahaha



Anyway, I'd like to conclude that -- I love writing blogs, it's truly my internet bliss, second best to MSN. And if you don't understand what i write sometimes, then you're not really MEANT to understand ;), cause it wasn't intended for you. Sorry-- but, STEP INTO MY VINTAGE HEELS FOR A SEC AND I'LL EXPLAIN --Ahem--- You wouldn't really want the world knowing about your "life" THUS, the endless examples of analogies i love creating! Hahaha. So, in the future -- I hope i do my best as a blogger to ensure your stay in intensive care (if possible =)) so, you'll be sedated by hot nurses poking things in your body.


Ciao!

Jason Miraz - " Make it mine"

I'm irrevocably in love with this funky song! It's so groovy, you can really dance to it anywhere - from the beach to the mass @ church! So, thankyou, Alex Bencio..... ya hilarious Fillipino! =P
Well, let me condense everything into a nutshell from the events that happened on saturday... It was pretty darn hectic.. My gosh. I think I can now die from the fun of unpredictability... T___T"



6.30am - Biking, Walking, swimming --- then, walking and biking. With little Anna
10.25am- As soon as i got home in my daggy trackies - sis from the city called me to go markets
10.30am- FAIRFIELD MARKETS - Bought dresses & a nice top PLUS my witch costume
12.00pm- CHILLAX @ HOME
1.00pm - head off to Mena's the Beautician in Casula
1.30pm to 4.00pm - Ate @ Connie's place and slept in her lounge room... far away from Casula
5.00pm - Church (my jeans kept falling down =.=")
6.00pm to 11.00pm - Gone to Teresa's place for funeral anniversary mass and drove around with Justin
..& 5 of 6 buttons of the new top went missing in wrestling matches, involving heels
11.30pm to 12.30am - Got home. On the phone with a dear friend

12.30am to 1.30am - Msn :)


then Sleep ETCCC..
This saturday is just like any other saturday, except now, I'm doing what i truly want and i'm happy about it. I dont care about what other people think anymore cause "you only live once"(Chrissy!Love you chickababessssss). For example: After a year of wanting to get into a car with Justin driving it, i finally did and it was great friggin fun! It's sort of good that i didn't tell him how much fun i had, in case he did some terrifying wheely stunt...T___T". Omg, my heart froze when the car was thrown into a U-turn drift--- It was like, i was in the tofu car from Intitial D except this car was black and sexier haha.Ohh, it was fun and exhilarating nonetheless! :D:D:D:D:D. And who cares? ;) .. Oh maybe my mum. But what she doesnt know won't hurt her.

I RECKON...To do what you want is the best kind of feeling you can NEVER imagine, you only get it if you DO what you want. So therefore, I'll be staying at school-- cause i dont give a rats ass about anything but my close friends and my Uai. My motivation to do well will come from my eagerness to beat this one irritating guy: Mr. I-Like-to-make-you-feel-wretched (also known as, that ganga that won't ever shut up about pessimistic shit in your own head, "You cant do it","Teh, think about the risks, you're not strong enough") If it had a face, I'd duck-tape it with a million rolls.... And! i love the feeling of -- Not caring about what other people expect of me, I like the feeling of what i expect of myself. Agree with me? ;)

I feel like I've exploded into a world of freedom where no one can stop you except your limits, put there by the compliments of good ol' morals.(Thankyou babes! I love you ahaha). Think I've lost the plot? T__T" Nah Ah ! I still have my morals, just most of my fear of doing what i want has totally evaporated and condensed into skittles -- and bear in mind, I'll never eat them up again! Even if i do what i want, I still understand the consequences of my actions, so maybe that'll answer your questions if ive evolved into a emotionless,senseless--- Robot? (Oh no offense Wall-e.. You're lovely). Like, not so long ago--Oh a few days to be exact =O. I did something i wanted to do for a very long time, i knew "he" was going to be upset, but I've been upset for the whole year because i thought i was doing the right thing for everyone else and myself. LOL. Turned out to be for everyone but me :P -- and because of that, I probably lost a friend. But i had to do it.

I'd rather not lie to myself for the benefit of a particular person/peoples for even a longer time. "A longer time", Oh Shit.. That's even more depressing! LOL. So right at this particular moment --- I've done all i can and I'm waiting for an answer and it sorta sucks =P just waiting around feeling sort of feeling helpless. I just want the answer really," Yes" or "No" nothing else. I dont mind if its good or bad --I dont expect anything, or really insist on anything. Because it really isn't fair if you don't consider what someone else wants Haha :)

It feels like i'm becoming a better person for myself instead of a good person for everyone else. I mean, i still think i'm good for the people i care about but, i was just bad to myself because i was scared of the doing 50/50 risks. Friggin society..their expectations, their stereotypes, their conventions can all die now,oh I've let it get to me enough. Now it's time to kick it's big fat bottox! *SMASHbanggggggggcrackk*

Anyway, that's enough insight into the complex mind of an average asian teenager. Tragically boring aye? I know, it's in dire need of some exciting things =p. Hahaha - If i could re-act Romeo and Juliet to create some entertainment, i would! But Mr.Romeo doesn't exist or he's being difficult =) Soo, now it's time to fold my mind up ( as portrayed in the given image displayed above). LOL

Tell me about your mind ;) Hahaha. yeah yeah STUPID ASS question. But you know what? I dont mind or care :)
Hahaa.. See you Chickas & Fellas. Much Love & Happiness!

Yay! Ive done it =)

Woohooo! This calls for a celebration! Ive done what i wanted and im not sad or regretting it. Thankyou my dearest buddies for the support you've given me; LOL, i know i know it's been a rough year =P

So yeah, Atm. Probably a few people are mad and disappointed, but who cares, it's my decision and they'll get over it! You can't hold a grudge for that long hahaha. So i did what i wanted, and i'm happy about it, I don't even care about the outcomes that much because i got whatever i had on my chest out. I'm not talking about my boobs either T___T". Wait... well i do care, but it wouldnt affect me so much i guess. I've finally become a brave girl =)

Seriously, doing what you want is the best feeling ever. I quote from beloved Chrissy, "You only live once". So why wouldnt you live it the way you want? :) I guess ive made a lot of sacrifices and rid myself of some baggage over the past week, but hey! It's all going towards my happiness, everlasting... with no- strings attached to anything! Wooo-- Im so happy :)

Wants versus Morals

Have you ever wanted something so much that you'll do anything for it? Even break the morals that you live by? If you have, you're so brave. You truly are, hahaha, I don't have the guts yet. I think if i do get what i want, i'll be happy about it, but then the people who i'm close to probably won't be happy like me and disapprove it and everything.... In my case, the thing i would love to blame the most is "bad-timing".

Whatever i wanted happened ages ago, and i thought i had gotten over it, and it's been a long time. But still, I know i'm lying to myself cause i feel the same way, it's still strong today like it was ages ago. But maybe the saying " You always want what you can't have" applies to my situation and it'll probably go from downhill if i got it. Blehhh -- seriously, HSC is coming up and i can't be like this :) So in a nutshell:

1. If i get what i want, i'll be happy and then unhappy because i know ive done the wrong thing morally

2. If i dont get what i want, i'll be a bit down but everyone's still happy.

2nd option sounds better doesn't it? Because it's the safe option. Ahhh i can't talk about this anymore.

Ghost-Face Killah feat. Neyo - Back like that

LOL- No one reads this aye? If you do. Comment. It motivates me to write more ;)
Today I'm gonna discuss, "The Issue".

The Issue:
#1: Ive been single so long, i want to have a boyfriend
#2: Ive been dating so long, i want to be single.
The issue is: Majority of us girls are very indecisive :) And it's a bitch.
We're all like, " I'm single, but i wanna date a guy, but i don't wanna date,you know what i mean?"
Hell yeah, I know what it means - Every girl knows what it means! It's completely normal to feel that way :), I just feel sorry for the boy that's gonna be involved.

I was talking with someone this morning at 2am (haha,it's the guy's best interest is to stay anonymous). And he said a lot of things that i realised that were true:

The reason why some guys don't wanna get with a girl is cause she's too confused with her feelings. One day she'll be "yeah i like you!", and the next day she'll be like, " I mistaken it for something else, can we still be friends?". This annoys the shit outta guys, mostly because they can't do anything, esp. how us girls love to re-quote the guy thus degradinng his level of pride. I quote, " Its sucks cause we can't whinge, or we'll look weak".

Girls tend to think like this, "He'll do this and that for me cause i'm worth it, if he doesn't he's so not worth it".I agree on the bit where girls are worth it, but then again, would you do anything and everything for a guy? No. Unless you loved him or was utterly obsessed by him. If you won't do anything, you can't expect him to reciprocate. Girl pleaseee.. *rolls eyes*

And we all wonder why we're so "complicated". I reckon most of us like this:
Us girls all want to know there's someone waiting for us after a long day, because it's a nice feeling. Along with that, we want to have the freedom to do whatever we like including hang out with other guys cause there's no better substitute for ego-boosts.Flirting, It works wonders on the self-esteem.LOLL. We also want some boy to be jealous so we'll feel even more special and talk about amongst our friends.Oooo. Thus, we're a hot topic, so to speak.Ever wonder why we talk so much? We want to be called every night, but we want to call whenever we like. We want to be spoiled with gifts yet spoil others so little. So, we're pretty selfish ;) We want the boy who's waiting for us at home to understand our crazy antics + behaviours and not get jealous or start a fight. And when the boy leaves us, we get upset. We don't understand what went wrong, we were so happy. And now you hate him. He gives us reasons: Like, we flirt too much, we go out too much with other guys, we never call him much, you never give him anything, you don't let him go out with other girls, don't you appreciate his devotion to you.However, we still get mad at him cause we think we're worth it and he just doesnt blardy see it. "Ass-hole", is screamed.

There's a reason for that, it's "Do it to them, before they do it to you".Don't get me wrong, but you boys do it too =p.This is "The Issue", we try to incorporate the "single" and "dating" life into one. Sometimes it works out, if the guy is lenient, understanding and is willing to sacrifice his "mind" when you go out with a bunch of girls and guys or maybe he really trusts you. Ngawww sweeeeet. It means he thinks you're worth it ;) Oo la la.

Ohh, my darlings ladies. Dont you feel for the guys now? See how much shit we put them through? :(. Cry with me.... LOL, nah don't cry you pussy =P ..But if he treats you bad, then just put him through shit.